sing me anything
by sparklylulz
Summary: After three minutes she looked down and saw the two tiny pink lines that meant she had become responsible for another life. -St. Berry
1. november to january

**A/N: Okay, I know this is overly cliched and kind of ridiculous, but I just wanted to do it so bad, y'all, I couldn't help it. Basically, Rachel ended up having sex with Jesse after he changed schools for her, thus ending up with a bun in the oven. This is split into three lengthy chapters, each detailing three months of the pregnancy. I'm trying to make this realistic as my best friend had a baby a year ago, and I had a detailed look into teen pregnancy.**

**The title is stolen from the beautiful song "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run. Also, this is the smuttiest thing I have ever written, and it isn't even that smutty.**

–

_**'sing me anything' **_

"_Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins and in this way only" -Les Miserables _

–

**November.**

She had met him on November the fifth, and that seemed like so long ago now. She could remember the way his eyes had searched her own as if he were looking into the parts of her she never let anyone see. He had gazed at her, and she could not have found it within her to break the connection. He was unlike anything she had ever seen before; his voice, his face, everything about him was different. Then he had begun to sing, and he sang like no one she had ever known. Their chemistry together could have burned the entire library down, and he seemed just as aware of this as her. Neither of them seemed to care that they were supposed to be enemies, the sound of their voices together had just felt so incredibly right.

Of course she knew that having feelings for him was bound to complicate things beyond belief. She just couldn't stand the heart break of waiting around for Finn anymore, not after the past semester. She hated the idea of him now, the idea that he had come so close to having her. She had sacrificed so much for the glee club, so why didn't she deserve her very own stab at happiness? Jesse was a nice guy, and he cared about her, surely that would matter to the rest of the club.

It didn't. As soon as the word 'spy' slipped from her friend's lips she was angered. It was like they all thought she was some stupid little girl enable of deciding who she should date or not. She knew that this would happen, but honestly, she believed Jesse. However, it would be a lie to say that she wasn't concerned when they threatened to kick her out. Who was she without glee? God, who was she with glee? She hated herself for having to choose. She hated glee for making her choose. She hated Jesse for being the right choice in her mind.

When he asked her to have sex for the first time, it had freaked her out. When she had gotten cold feet she used the excuse of the team to distract from the fact that Jesse had been with other girls. It shouldn't have been a surprise, but that didn't mean anything to her. She was now forced to look at their relationship. Was she ready for that step? But really what she found herself asking was: _would I have been ready if it were Finn?_ Though the idea of having sex terrified her, it did not rid her of her desire altogether. Now every time she saw Jesse she kept thinking about what it would feel like, almost asking him to show her.

It was a week later when he went and did something almost as crazy as people believed her to be. He had joined her glee club, to be with her. More than that he had said he loved her, in front of every single member of glee. He wasn't embarrassed to be seen holding her hand or kissing her before third block. He genuinely cared about how she felt, and that meant so much to her. Never before had anyone done something so thoughtful or caring for her, and it was then that she knew she loved him too, and that she wanted everything to be with him.

It was a Friday night, it had been raining, she could remember because his hair was wet when she ran her fingers through it. He had such beautiful hair, thick and full, and coarse under her fingertips that night. He was watching her do her daily MySpace video, and he was staring at her so intently that she thought he might bore a hole in the back of her. She felt warm with the attention from him, wishing she was brave enough to say what was truly on her brain. He didn't seem to mind that she wasn't ready, he had been so gracious about it all, it just made her want him more.

"Jesse?" She said gently, and looked up to her a curious expression lining his handsome face, making her swallow hard before speaking again.

"Yeah, Rach?" He asked softly, standing as she came near him. She felt like she had looked into his eyes for days before she found her voice enough to voice what she wanted.

"I want you. I mean it this time, I want to do it." She said, blushing at the end as he scrutinized her red face with his bright eyes.

"I thought you said you weren't ready?" He asked softly, taking both her small hands in his. The warmth of his hands seemed to envelope her heart and she smiled softly up to him, a glow beginning to burn in her chest.

"That was before you left Vocal Adrenaline for me. That was before you told me you loved me." She sighed tracing his face with her slender fingers as he relaxed into her touch. He sighed against the soft hands.

"I do. I love you." He said softly, and she smiled up at him and nodded in agreement before pulling herself up to capture his lips in hers. They were soft as always, and she could feel the tingling within her spreading all across her entire body. He smiled against her mouth.

"Okay, but anytime you want to stop, we will." He said gently, lifting her towards the bed, his strong arms comforting her. He started by removing his shirt, and she was mesmerized with how gorgeous he was, he smiled at her again before lifting her heavy sweater over her dark head.

The cool air hit her body and she shivered a little as he placed his lips down the sides of her body. Before she could stop herself she was undoing his buttons and pushing his layers off, now all that stood between them were the pieces of fabric clinging to her body. He smiled at her before unclasping her bra and sliding it down her arms. He did not miss the blush that crossed her face.

"You are beautiful, Rachel. So, so, beautiful." He breathed as he pushed her remaining clothes off and she reveled in the way their bodies felt pressed together in the night. He was humming a familiar song in her ear.

"_Pulse is gone and racing – All fits and starts. Window by window you try and look into this brave new you that you are."_

It had been Spring Awakening, of course, her favorite musical. The song representing the coming to age story of two teens who expressed their love in the most intimate way. His voice was low and soft in her ear as he positioned himself above her, but his singing made her feel safe and warm. Suddenly he had pushed and anything she had expected had been destroyed. It hurt, but it felt right, like he deserved to be there. She wanted him to be there. Then he began to move inside her and it felt like her entire soul was on fire, she was moaning, but he never stopped singing, and that was what made it perfect.

When it was over she lay against him, feeling whole for the first time in her entire life. She could feel his heart beat to remind her that he was there, and that he did love her.

They didn't have sex again, but they were closer, and she loved the feeling of being that close to someone. But she had messed everything up only two weeks later, the last week of November, by making that stupid video with Finn and Puck. She knew when Jesse had said he should have been enough for her exactly what he meant. She had given herself to him completely, so why was she doing this now?

That was the last time he spoke to her for a long time.

–

**December.**

December in Lima, Ohio is very cold and very drafty. The school was never warm enough, and there was already six inches of snow on the ground and she was miserable. She hadn't spoken to Jesse for a good two and a half weeks. She was beginning to lose focus on everything, she just felt horrible all of the time. Not only emotionally, but she felt physically sick all the time. She had woken up every morning to an increasing desire to vomit. She thought it was the depression, and that scared her.

She had seen Jesse only in glee as he was a senior. He didn't look at her, and threw himself into the music, and she could tell that he was doing everything he could to pretend she had never existed. She made it easy for him, as she rarely said anything in glee anymore. Apart from being physically exhausted, everyone seemed to hate her even more now.

It wasn't until she saw Puck helping Quinn, who's stomach was swelling bigger by the day, across the icy black top, with a love in his eyes that could have lit up the skyline, that she began to panic. How many days had it been since that night in November? How many nights had it been since she was reminded that she was a woman? At least a month, no it had been longer than that. She was perfect when it came to everything, even monthly cycles. She was never late, or irregular. She felt like vomiting again as she ran to the red bathroom, tears lacing down her cheeks.

What was she going to do? She was only sixteen, she was supposed to be a star. Who did she have? Before she allowed herself to fully breakdown she vowed to make sure that her fears were a reality and decided to go to the walk in clinic after school, and spent the rest of the day in a terrified panic. No one in glee missed the fact that she didn't even join in on the songs. Her head was full of thoughts and every time she heard his voice she flinched. What was she going to tell him? He hated her now, just like everyone else. She was all alone.

The day ended almost too soon for her liking, and she found herself driving to the nearest health clinic, her knuckles white from how hard they were grasping the steering wheel. The terror threatened to overwhelm her but she fought it back, trying to tell herself there was nothing to panic over. It could just be an illness or a vitamin deficiency. When she found a parking place she promptly leaned out of her car door and vomited out of nerves all over the grass.

She was taken back almost at once, and she started to hyperventilate before a kind natured, older nurse came into her exam room.

"Says here that you're looking to take a pregnancy test?" She asked kindly, and Rachel nodded, feeling as if the walls her crushing down upon her.

"Okay, well I'm going to ask you a few questions first." She nodded again, not trusting her voice to carry her through this. "Have you experienced any morning sickness?" The nurse asked and Rachel nodded once again and watched the nurse scribble on her clipboard.

"Have you missed your period?" Rachel was beginning to feel the tears again and nodded while swallowing the hard lump in her throat. More scribbling on the clipboard.

"Have you had any fatigue that is unusual?" Rachel nodded one final time before the nurse handed her a cup and a package home pregnancy test.

"Hope you need to go." She smiled kindly. "You need to fill the cup to the black line and then use the stick." Rachel stood to enter the bathroom, and she did as she was instructed.

When she took the test back out the nurse was waiting for her, a kind and understanding smile lining her older face. She took one of Rachel's hands in her own and squeezed tightly as they waited for the test results to form. After three minutes she looked down and saw the two tiny pink lines that meant she had become responsible for another life.

"I know you're very scared, Rachel, but you've got to be strong for your baby. Now, you need to set up an appointment with your OBGYN, and then decide about planned parenthood." The nurse said, a sadness in her voice that Rachel didn't want to hear. She nodded and pulled away walking out of the clinic numb to her toes, unaware of the tears on her face. She truly was all alone, it was only her and the growing child inside her that she had begun to love from the moment the test had two pink stripes.

Her appointment with her doctor had been an emergency, so she had managed to make it for the same day. She was still in shock when the familiar doctor came into the room, a smile of his face as he shook her hand like usual.

"Nice to see you again, Rachel, although I am curious as to why you're here?" Dr. Wu asked politely, and Rachel took a deep breath in before speaking.

"I'm... pregnant." She said in a quavering voice, and the doctor's smile faltered as he stared down at the young starlet and then her stomach.

"Well, let's take some ultrasounds to confirm it." He said gently, and she lay back, as he applied the cool gel to her abdomen.

"From the development of the fetus, I would say you are around one month and three days along, and your baby has a strong heart beat, which is a good thing. Given that it would make your delivery date around July twentieth." He smiled at her, and she smiled back timidly. She was over a month pregnant and hadn't even known. He cleaned her stomach before she sat up and looked to him for guidance.

"You're going to need to tell your fathers, who I am sure will take it well. Hiram and Leroy were always easy going. Also, I want you to start taking prenatal vitamins, and try not to put your body under any unnecessary stress. You've got another life to take care of. I want to see you again soon to check how far advanced you are." Rachel just felt numb through the whole appointment. It had not hit her that she was pregnant yet, and it wouldn't hit her until she got home that night and reached her bedroom to fall sobbing into the sheets.

The next day of school would prove to be the hardest of her entire existence. She tried to stay out of the line of fire, a protective hand hovering around her abdomen. She knew that she had to talk to Mr. Schue today, so she caught him right before glee and pulled him aside.

"Rachel, you okay? You look a little sick." He asked gently. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I'm afraid that I won't be able to participate in glee as vigorously as I used to. I found out yesterday that I'm..." She pushed herself to say the words out loud at Mr. Schuester's patiently interested face, "That I am a month pregnant." Whatever he had been expecting it was most certainly not this, and his face showed all of his shock.

"Please don't say anything to anyone, my fathers don't even know yet. However, I didn't want to seem to be slacking in glee." She said softly, and pushed past him into the rehearsal room without letting him respond to her.

For the first time in a month Jesse's eyes connected with her own as she entered the familiar room, and for a moment she could have sworn that he could see the desperate fear that was hiding in her eyes, but a moment later he was looking at Mike and she was left alone again. She subconsciously rubbed her stomach, not noticing the blond girl watching her.

**January.**

January was even worse than December for her, she was starting to really feel pregnant. She had some mood swings and those drained her, not to mention the nausea that she tried to hide so well at school. She couldn't let anyone find out, especially since she still had not told her fathers about being pregnant. She wasn't doing anymore of the more vigorous dance moves, and Mr. Schue constantly looked at her with a sadness and worry that made her hate herself even more.

She had given up on eating in the cafeteria, she felt like every person in there was staring at her. As she was well into two months pregnant, she was starting to show slightly, and she finally understood why Quinn was always wearing dresses. She began to wear some of her looser fitting dresses, and she played it off as normal, however, even Kurt didn't have anything rude to say to her. She was grateful for this because she was so close to the breaking point these days she could not be held accountable for what she might do to him.

It was one of her typical lunch times spent in the rehearsal room, staring around the space feeling sick. She was eating as regularly as she could, but she thought that she might vomit at any given moment. She didn't want to let herself cry, not here, not where she was most vulnerable. She simply hung her head for a moment, trying to will herself to be the strong and stubborn Rachel that she had been three months ago.

"You can cry, you know." She looked up to see the last person she ever thought she would see. Quinn Fabray was walking towards her, her blue dress matching her eyes. She was smiling a gentle smile down at Rachel.

"No, I can't. There's no reason to." Rachel said defiantly. She forced herself to look in Quinn's eyes and was amazed to find that the fear that Quinn had once held in her eyes had disappeared and she couldn't help but hope that happened to her.

"Yes, you do. You're scared, I know, I am too. Being a mom is a huge step, and being responsible for another life is terrifying." Quinn told her softly, taking one of the brunette's hands in hers. Rachel felt comfort from Quinn.

"I don't know how this happened. Just one time. I was stupid for one time." She said, her thoughts over the last month spilling out of her mouth before she could stop it. For the first time since she had found out she was going to have a baby, she had someone to talk to about it, and that meant pretty much everything.

"I know, I was the same way. Kind of puts you off sex, doesn't it?" She chuckled, and Rachel laughed with her. "It's Jesse's right?" Quinn asked, not wanting to say Finn, because she probably wouldn't be able to handle that. Rachel took in a deep breath.

"Yes. He has decided that he hates me now, and I don't know what do Quinn, I can't even tell my fathers." She said softly, starting to cry for what seemed like the millionth time. Quinn just placed a comforting hand on her back.

"You need to tell him, Rachel. If you're nearly three months along, he needs to know. You also need to tell your dads, things are going to start happening fast, and you shouldn't be all alone." Quinn said, and her tone held no amount of judgment or disappointment, only kindness for the second pregnant girl in the room, sobbing ton her shoulder.

"Rachel, you are the strongest person I know. You can do this." She said softly, and as the bell rang she left for fourth period.

It was the next week that Rachel was walking to the parking lot when she heard two voices coming from the choir room, both angry, one a girl's voice and the other a male's, but as she came near the door a third familiar voice started speaking.

"I don't understand why you're confronting me about this now, that happened two months ago." It was Jesse's familiar and beautiful voice that she had always longed for. She felt her heart break a little more when a more surprising voice came from inside the room.

"Because she didn't mean to hurt your stupid ass, dude, she still loves you, and you're being an asshole by ignoring her." It was Noah's rough voice, and he sounded like he was very close to the door handle that Rachel was holding.

"That doesn't change the fact that she did hurt me." Jesse sad, with the same sadness that had filled his voice months before. Rachel sighed against the wall and felt the shame of that stupid video wash over her again.

"Jesse, Rachel needs you right now. She really needs you. You have no idea what she's going through." It was Quinn's soft voice this time, and Rachel smiled at her new acquired friend, who was actually sticking up for her, and tried not to start crying all over the place again.

"What do you mean? Is she okay?" Her heart leapt, he was still concerned about her well being and she smiled a watery smile again.

"Jesse, you just need to talk to her. Please." Quinn's pleading voice held the end to the conversation, and Rachel rushed off so that no one would see her there. She left to go to her next appointment, but she felt a little more brave, and not so alone.

When Dr. Wu entered the room he smiled at her and she smiled a small smile back. He pulled out his equipment out for the new ultrasound that would produce images for her to take home.

"Well, Rachel, that's your baby." Rachel was crying as she made out the small, three month old shape on her screen, and she beamed at him. The doctor flipped off the screen a few moments later, after printing out Rachel's images.

"We should be able to tell the sex of the baby soon. Be sure to start thinking of baby names." He said kindly, "And, you should start to see the end of the morning sickness soon-"

"Thank god." She sighed, thankful for that one light of hope on the dark and looming horizon of what was to come. Dr. Wu chuckled and said their goodbyes, she scheduled her next appointment, hoping and praying that she would have told her fathers and Jesse by that point.

As she pulled out of the doctor's office parking lot she began to sing, and sing the way she had months ago. She was pouring passion into every word that left her mouth, and she finally felt alive again, like she had woken up from some kind of trance.

"_Something started crazy-- sweet and unknown..." _The melody always comforted her, as she placed a small hand over her ever growing baby. She could still hear Jesse's voice floating through her mind, and she continued to let the melody flow until she reached home.

She pulled herself out of her car, a small hand holding her stomach and when she looked up she felt a tingle of fear leak throughout her body, those familiar eyes were staring at her and she felt naked under his gaze. She felt herself being pulled towards him like he was some sort of magnet that she needed to survive.

"Jesse." She said breathlessly looking at him, not being able to breathe at the idea of him standing on her familiar porch.

"Hello, Rachel." He said, his voice holding a note of anger. He came towards her and she did not shrink back in fear.

"What... what are you doing here?" Her voicing was wavering and she felt like she was going to fall apart again, the song notes from moments ago still filling her heart. It was all she could think of as she looked at him.

"What is it that Quinn and Puck know that I don't?" He asked, " They said you're not okay." He said softer walking towards her. She shivered in the chilly air.

"No, Jesse, I'm not okay." She said gently, and touched her stomach again, trying to build up bravery to tell him what she had been holding within her for the past three months. She looked up at him briefly.

"I'm three months pregnant." She said quickly, feeling as if the huge weight of it all would crush her again. He didn't say anything for a while, he just stared at her mouth open slightly, and she was taken with irrational desire to giggle at his face.

"We're...having a baby." He said finally, and she was suddenly touched that he hadn't asked who the father was. He trusted her, and that meant something to her after all these months of silence from him. As she looked at him she realized just how much that she missed him. She drank in every feature on his face.

"Yeah, Jesse, we are." She said quietly and he looked at her for another moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, a hurt in his voice that irritated her. He was hurt? After he didn't even speak to her for months over something that in the grand scheme of things didn't even really matter? He did not deserve to be hurt.

"You weren't speaking to me. I didn't even know until two months ago, and I thought that you hated me, and hating me would definitely not make you thrilled to have a child." She said a bit sharper than she had meant. He took a final step that placed him so close to her that she could smell him. It was the first smell that didn't make her want to puke.

"You didn't have to do it alone, Rachel. Surely you know I wouldn't just abandon you." She simply nodded, even though she didn't know that. He carefully placed a hand on her stomach, his fingers sent shivers up her body. She had missed his touch more than she had thought, and before she could stop herself she was placing herself in his arms.

"I'm so sorry about everything, Jesse. You don't deserve this. UCLA, and everything, this shouldn't be your burden." She said sadly and looked fiercely into her eyes.

"Rachel Berry, you and my baby are much more important to me than the performing arts, don't ever doubt that." She knew that to most people that might not sound like much, but coming from Jesse that was the highest devotion he could give. "I haven't forgiven you, but we're going to make this work." He said gently. She nodded against his chest.

"First we should start by telling my dads, thank goodness they're for gun control laws." She said matter-of-factly and he chuckled softly.

"Can you do me a favor?" She asked, and he looked down at her curiously. "Sing me something, anything." When he opened his mouth it was the familiar song.

"_And now our bodies are the guilty ones – Our touch will fill every hour." _He hummed and she finally felt like everything might just be okay.


	2. february to april

**A/N: I totally blame this entire story on Spring Awakening, I've been obsessed with it so long it's driven me crazy. However, I love Jonathan Groff, seriously, it breaks my heart that he's gay. Ah well, whatever makes him happy. :)  
**

**Before I get comments on it, Rachel's father's reactions are exactly what happened to my best friend and my sister. It's realistic for her parents, I think. I always see them as more mellow guys, and I guess since it's my story that's a good enough reason? **

**This chapter has much more dialogue, given everything that happens in months 3-6.**

–

_**'sing me anything'**_

_"Melchior: I hear your heartbeat, Wendla.  
Wendla: Melchi, I, I don't know.  
Melchior: No matter where I am, I hear it beating.  
Wendla: …and I hear yours." -Spring Awakening_

–

**February.**

It had taken them a week to work up the courage to tell her fathers the truth. Jesse had been there for her every moment of the day, but she knew that it was a strain. He was still angry with her, and they were both still heart broken. What she wouldn't give for him to forgive her, to remember what it felt like to love her as he once had. She could feel him next to her, and she turned around he was standing there, just staring at her, his eyes scrutinizing her face as she held her stomach a smile lighting her face.

"I love him so much." She said to Jesse, rubbing her protruding stomach. He cocked an eyebrow at her that made him irresistibly sexy to her. Her pregnancy hormones did not help with the whole abstinence thing.

"So you've decided it's a boy? I was hoping for a girl, we could have named her Barbra." He said with a smirk, and she hit his shoulder lightly as they walked towards the door to her familiar home, his arm protectively wrapped around her waist.

"No, no Barbra's. I dunno, it just feels like it's a boy." She said sighing, she just couldn't explain it to him. It was something about being a mother, she could just sense that it would be a beautiful little boy in her arms five months from now. He smiled briefly at her, and it was almost the same smile he had given to her all those months ago when they first met.

"Now, Dad will be more upset than Daddy. However, they are _extreme pacifists _and their membership with Peta shows that they are very good natured people." She said quickly, and he grinned at her, because this was Rachel at her very best. Talking a mile a minute and not bothering to stop and breathe at all.

"Rachel, I can handle it. Let's do this." She smiled her bright smile up at him before pushing her door open to enter her home. She could hear her fathers, her dad was watching basketball while her daddy was busy painting.

"Dad, Daddy, can we talk to you?" She asked gently, and both her fathers exchanged a brief look before looking at the two nervous, scared teenagers standing in their living room. Her dad turned the TV off, and her Daddy set his brush down.

"Of course, hun. You two have a seat on the loveseat. It's good to see you again, Jesse, we missed having you around." Hiram said kindly to the teenage boy who had ruined his daughter's innocence and any hope that she ever had of seeing Broadway. Jesse swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, not being able to find his voice.

"I know this will be shocking, and somewhat disappointing for you to hear, but several months ago I found out I was..." She sucked in a huge breath, but she felt Jesse slip his hand into hers and squeeze her fingertips, she felt braver. "That I was pregnant." She said, bracing herself for the bomb that both of her fathers were bound to drop.

"We know, darling." Leroy said sadly down to his only child, a love in his eyes more fierce than Jesse had ever seen. Rachel looked to her fathers very confused at what they could possibly mean, then voiced her question.

"What do you mean, 'we know,' Dad?" She asked, and Hiram smiled a sad smile to her.

"Rachel, baby, you've eaten our entire kitchen in two days, and you no longer exercise in the mornings. Not to mention the fact that you never wear pants anymore." He said gently to her, stepping towards her Dad, and holding his husband's dark hand.

"Dr. Wu's office called, inquiring if our insurance would cover your pregnancy bills. We've known for months." Jesse looked at Rachel, who was clearly just as confused as he was. She looked back to her fathers.

"Why... why didn't you say anything?" She asked, a tone of sadness in her voice. She had been so afraid of telling them, only to discover they knew the truth, they might even had known it before she did.

"We knew you'd tell us when you had got your head wrapped around it." Hiram said to her, and he didn't look angry, just relieved, almost as relieved as Rachel felt.

"So.. you're not angry?" She asked gently. Leroy shook his head at her before she had launched herself from the familiar sofa into both their arms, and she was sobbing again. Her fathers held her close as Jesse sat awkwardly on the couch.

"We aren't angry at you, either, Jesse. We just wish you two had told us sooner." Hiram said to Jesse who nodded again sadly and Rachel just continued to sob into Leroy's arms.

"What do you want to do with your baby, Rachel?" Leroy asked gently, stroking his beautiful daughter's back. Rachel pulled back to stare up at him, not really knowing what to say. She hadn't even thought about it, nor had she asked Jesse what he wanted.

"I don't... I don't know." She said quietly, and Hiram looked at her. He seemed to be contemplating what he was going to say to her.

"If you wanted to keep it, you could. We wouldn't force you to give up your child, darling. We would be more than happy to help raise it. This also involves you, Jesse." Leroy said to the teenage boy still shocked on the couch. He looked up into the tall man's eyes.

"Jesse has a full ride to UCLA." Rachel said simply, knowing what was tearing at him, but Jesse just shook his head at her.

"I have a full ride to OSU and NYC also, Rach. If you want to keep our baby, we can. I won't abandon you." He said softly, and she obviously looked torn at the idea of keeping the child growing inside of her.

Maybe a five months ago she would have said she would just give the baby up, that she wouldn't let anything stand in the way of her dreams, however now that she had started to experience motherhood, she didn't want to give it up. Honestly she wasn't in Quinn's position. She had people who loved her and supported her, and she didn't have a reputation to lose. A baby didn't mean she couldn't get an education. She could now picture herself holding the small boy it was sure to be in her arms, singing him a lullaby, Jesse at her side.

"I don't know. I want to keep him." She said softly, and her fathers looked down at her with a surprised expression on their faces.

"It's a boy?" Leroy asked. Jesse laughed for a moment.

"No, but Rachel has decided that it will be." He chuckled, and the two older men joined in on the laughing.

"Well, you know what we're going to have to do next?" She asked Jesse, and slackening her grip on Leroy a bit. Jesse raised an eye brow at his future child's mother, and she looked at him, a fierce determination building within her.

"We've got to tell the club." She said gently, because she would not be another Quinn Fabray. She would not hide in shame over a child she wasn't ashamed of. She was Rachel Berry, and she could tolerate slushies, vicious comments, and being a gleek, so she could definitely handle telling the glee club she was pregnant. Jesse, on the other hand, looked like he was going to faint, but nodded once.

The next day came much too quickly for Rachel. She was relieved that she no longer had to hide her pregnancy from her fathers, but now she was faced with their sad stares in her direction. She knew that though they had not blown up on her, they were still very disappointed in their only child. That and Jesse still not forgiving her, she had never felt more alone in her entire life. She sat in the rehearsal room, holding her stomach.

"_In the midst of this nothing. This miss of a life. Still there's this one thing just to see you go by._" Her voice sounded small, and it never sounded small. Singing was different for her now, before it had been her passion and vice, and now it was all she had left to her name.

She heard footsteps and looked up to see Mr. Schue standing in front of her, that sad glint still in his soft eyes. She hated him for that, she hated that every where she went she couldn't escape the judgmental stares. She was pregnant, she wasn't on drugs or suicidal. She was just so tired of everything.

"I'm telling them today." She said loudly, and the teacher turned to her, a surprised look in his expression.

"Are you sure that's the right thing to do?" He asked gently, and she stared back at him incredulously. It was a pretty stupid question.

"Mr. Schuester, I'm going to be five months pregnant in less than a month. I'm starting to show now, I can't hide it anymore, I won't. I'm not ashamed of my baby, and they've been my friends, albeit a bit reluctantly, for a long time now. They deserve the truth from me." She said firmly, like this was the only thing she had been sure of in her entire pregnancy.

The teacher didn't have time to respond as Tina and Artie had just entered the room, followed by Mercedes and Kurt. Quinn made her way in, fingers laced with Puck's. Both teens smiled at her as they went to sit. Next were Finn and Santana, and Rachel couldn't even pretend to know what was going on between those two. She almost felt a spark of sadness looking at them, remembering the love she had once harbored with such reverence for Finn. Matt entered the room next, followed closely by Brittany and Mike. Everyone was seated when she saw the one face she had wanted to see and been dreading all day.

Jesse came to sit next to her, like he had ever since she had let him know that she was pregnant. No one found this strange, because they never showed any amount of affection towards the other. Today, however, Jesse had taken her hand as a sign of comfort, and she felt herself grow stronger. She stood, and he followed suit, reaching the front of the room.

"Jesse and I have something that we need to tell our fellow glee clubbers-" She began to be cut off by Santana, who looked irritated as always.

"We get it, you're back together. May I be the first to say, who cares?" She asked, looking at her finger nails, and Rachel felt herself swell with a sudden hatred for the Latina girl in front of them, and only Jesse's pressure on her hands kept her from lunging for the jugular.

"No, we are not together." Rachel said sharply, and everyone looked at her with surprise and at the two entwined hands. Quinn and Puck, however were watching the two with respect. "As you have been the only people I have ever been able to call reluctant friends," She heard a scoff from Kurt's direction, "We decided that you should be the first at McKinley High to know that I am almost five months pregnant."

Her voice had not been lost, she had said it firmly, and every face looked surprised, barring Quinn, Puck, and Mr. Schuester. Finn looked most hurt, his eyes finding hers, and she found she couldn't look at him, not anymore. There was too much pain between the two of them.

"Thank god, now I'll get a chance to dress you like you have a pair of eyes when you choose your clothes." Kurt said from the back of the room, and Rachel smiled at him, because he was the last person she expected to embrace this. Her hormones were screaming at her to cry but she fought back tears.

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" Tina asked, and Rachel shook her head.

"I have decided it's a boy however, Jesse wants a girl. We'll find out soon though." She smiled at the Asian girl. Then it was like a normal glee rehearsal, and they were singing, and she felt free. Jesse was sitting next to her, and she realized with a smile that he had not let go of her hand.

**March. **

March brought change for Rachel, and for once it was the good kind of change. It was no longer a bitter and unhappy cold, now everything was springing back into wakening. She smiled at the trees who were turning green as she walked around her street. She was wearing a new set of maternity clothes that Kurt had bought her, after dragging her through the mall a week before. Kurt was being very protective over Rachel, and had decided that he would be honorary god mother.

Rachel was thankful to have Kurt, even if they weren't best friends. Quinn had almost been very supportive, even if she was getting well into seven months pregnant. Puck was changing also, after he had shaved off that ridiculous hair cut he seemed to change his entire personality. He wasn't chasing girls anymore, as the two girls he had in his life were more than enough for him.

However, things with Jesse had not changed, except he had told his parents. That had been like a nightmare, there was a lot of screaming about the future and UCLA, and singing. Jesse had drowned them all out by saying he could sing anywhere, and that UCLA wasn't even his dream school. When they asked about Rachel's future, he'd informed them that by the time she would be heading to college the baby would be two years old, which is much more manageable than an infant. Despite their anger towards their son, Mr. and Mrs. St. James had embraced her, and promised to help out anytime she wanted. After all, they had always wanted grand children, but not this early.

Now, Jesse and Rachel spent time together. He would come over a few times a week, and he'd carry her things to class, but he never touched her for too long or said much when she spoke to him. This filled her with a sadness that was much worse than loneliness. She decided that you will never feel more alone than when you're with someone you know doesn't want to be with you. She had found herself wondering if he hated their baby and her for doing this. It broke her heart to think about that.

In an easier and more perfect world she and Jesse would have fallen in love after discovering their child, but if watching the struggles between Puck and Quinn had taught her anything, it was that children cannot force love. Rachel had loved Jesse for so long that it seemed as if it had been her entire life. Jesse did not seem to love her, though, in fact he seemed to wish he never had to spend any time with her, and she could not find it within herself to ask why he acted as such.

"_And who can say what dreams are? Wake me in time to be out in the cold. And who can say what we are?_" Her voice sang gently as she sat on the bench in her local park, it was silly how attached to the song she was, how comforting it was.

"Why do you always sing that song?" She jumped a little and looked up to feel her heart clench, Jesse was standing above her. He paused for a moment before sitting gently on the bench.

"It comforts me. I can still hear you singing it during, you know, that night." She blushed a little and looked down at her hands.

"I'm not ashamed of that, you know. I don't regret it." He said and she looked up at him, her eyes wide.

"Then why do you act like you are?" She asked softly, trying to not cry as she looked into his endless eyes.

"Because even if I don't show it, I'm freaking out, Rachel. I'm eighteen, I didn't want to get you pregnant. I don't know how to raise a baby." He said quickly, and ran one hand through his hair. Rachel tried to squash back the flame of desire that sparked in her as she watched him. She was pregnant, she should know better than that.

"I don't either, Jesse. I just want to keep them because I don't think I could ever let them go." She said quietly and he reached out to stroke her hand.

"I know that, Rachel. I don't want to give the baby away either." He smiled timidly and she smiled back.

"How'd you know where I was?" She asked, rubbing her stomach.

"Your dads told me. I told them I'd take you to your appointment with Dr. Wu today." He said and she swelled with happiness. They would find the sex out today, and she felt so nervous she might throw up, though the sickness had passed two months ago.

When they arrived at the doctor's office Jesse grabbed her hand again, and she could tell he felt better after telling her why he was scared. He also seemed to be excited, because he was talking more than he had in nearly six months.

She walked back to the examination room, the anticipation building within her core as she looked up at Jesse. Dr. Wu had applied the gel to her stomach and she shivered from the cold, but Jesse rubbed her arm and she felt warm with tingles all over her body. It felt dirty to get turned on in a doctor's office where she would soon be looking at her unborn fetus.

"Well, it looks like you two are having a," The doctor paused for dramatic emphasis, and Rachel, who had always respected a dramatic moment, felt irritated for a brief second. "A boy."

It was a boy, a tiny and beautiful baby boy, she felt the tears well up in her eyes and crash down over her cheeks as she held herself to Jesse. "It's a boy, a boy." She said over and over and she looked up to see that he was crying too. He was rubbing her back as he sank onto the bed she was on, and clinging her to him.

After the appointment, and several pack so tissues, both teens had stopped crying. Jesse was still holding her hand and Rachel felt so much better after knowing that she had a boy in her swelling abdomen.

"I was right." She said quietly next to her. "I never thought I'd be happy to say you're right, but I am now." He said happily, she squeezed his fingers. As he turned into her driveway they saw that her fathers were not home. A strange tingle passed throughout Rachel's entire body as she looked over to Jesse.

"Come inside, please." She said softly, and Jesse nodded in agreement. She felt a surge of hope and desire lick at her insides as she watched him hum while she unlocked her door.

As they walked inside Rachel began to sing looking at him.

"_Haven't you heard the word – how I want you? O, I'm gonna be wounded. O, I'm gonna be your wound. O, I'm gonna bruise you. O, you're gonna be my bruise_." His eyes flashed to hers, and she saw the same flame of desire jump in his irises.

"Rachel, what are you saying?" He asked, and for one his voice was shaking as his eyes roamed her body.

"I want you. I want you now." She said quickly, and pressed herself against him, and she felt him giving into her. "Don't fight it, just let it happen. You want it too, I know you do." She breathed against his lips as she pushed her mouth onto his. For the first time she felt so alive, it felt like she was on fire.

Jesse didn't fight it anymore, and they had no hope of making it up the stairs so she pushed him into the guest bedroom. She was pushing his clothes off and he was pulling hers off when he stopped. She looked up to see him staring at her bare stomach.

"I know I don't look like I used to-" She started but when Jesse pulled her face back up to his he had tears in his eyes again. "Rachel, you have never looked more beautiful." He said, and sent chills up her spine as he traced her stomach.

Suddenly he was over her again, and this time as he thrust into her she moaned his name, because she had wanted this for so long. His lips were soft over hers, and when he pulled away he was singing the familiar song again. "_This is the reason for dreaming. And now our bodies are the guilty ones._" Rachel smiled against his lips, and the words were out before she could stop them.

"I love you." He froze, still inside of her and looked down. She thought that she might start crying at how stupid she was when he spoke.

"I forgive you, I need you." He said and he was moving again, and she was grinning. It wasn't an 'I love you,' but it was all she needed to hear.

When it was all over, there were tears leaking out of her eyes, and he was kissing her cheek. Everything felt complete.

**April.**

April was not a good time in Rachel's life. It was her sixth month of being pregnant, and it was also the month when all hell broke loose. She was showing very well by now, in fact she didn't know that anyone could ever get this size. She should have wondered why the entire school wasn't buzzing with the rumors of her being pregnant. She had assumed it was because no one even noticed that she was alive, let alone what she looked like. However, she realized several weeks into April that the reason no one knew was because Puck had kept it very quiet. He had threatened Ben-Israel to keep the story quiet, but now it had seemed to have gotten out.

Rachel heard it first when a huge jock from the football team had walked by her in the hallway and muttered, "At least Fabray is a MILF." Rachel looked back at him, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Hey, Berry, is it true?" She turned around to see a girl she had Chemistry with sneering at her. The girl was wearing a Cheerio uniform.

"Is what true?" Rachel sighed. The girl looked annoyed that Rachel wasn't upset over whatever she was about to say.

"That you're pregnant, and Puckerman's the daddy." Rachel's jaw dropped, and her anger boiled over at the small, impertinent girl in front of her.

"No, my child is not Noah Puckerman's! He's Jesse's, and it's none of your business to spread that ridiculous rumor, considering you've been stealing chemicals in Chemistry to snort when Mrs. Habbernacky isn't looking." Rachel snapped back, and pushed past the Cheerio.

Lunch was even worse. Everyone was burning with the news of Rachel being a new baby mama. It was more surprising than Quinn Fabray because everyone was shocked that anyone would even look past her crazy enough to have sex with Rachel Berry. Jesse was watching her at lunch, he knew she was fighting back the tears at all the vicious rumors.

Before Rachel could realize what was happening, Jesse was on the table.

"_Listening  
To the souls in the fool's night  
Fumbling mutely with their rude hands  
And there's heartache without end_

Rachel felt her eyes sparkle with tears as he sang to her, and everyone in the lunchroom had stopped to stare at the two teens.

_See the father bent in grief  
The mother dressed in mourning  
Sister crumbles, and the neighbors grumble  
The preacher issues warnings._"

Rachel stood on the table top after a little help from Kurt to get up there. She was swaying with Jesse and she began to sing with him for the first time in months.

"_Had a sweetheart on his knees  
So faithful and adoring  
And he touched me. And I let him love me.  
So let that be my story_

_Listening  
For the hope, for the new life  
Something beautiful, a new chance  
Hear its whispering  
There again._"

Her voice was the strongest it had ever been since she discovered she was pregnant, and his hand was was in hers. She grinned over at him as the song ended and everyone just sat in a stunned surprise, looking like they had never seen her before.

Quinn was the first to clap, then the rest of the glee club joined in and the rest of the student body present was clapping. Rachel smiled and she looked at Jesse before taking a bow.

Rachel was at home alone later and she was thinking to herself. Her baby was bound to be beautiful. Jesse was so handsome it hurt to look at him sometimes. Jesse was a form of handsome that she had never seen in person before.

"What're you thinking about, baby girl?" Her Daddy had entered the room, and he came to sit next to her, paint splashed across his hands.

"Baby names." She said softly looking to her father. He smiled at her.

Both of her fathers had been over the moon when they had discovered that her baby would be a boy. They had always talked about adopting a son, and now they would have a boy to pamper and spoil. She loved the idea of that though.

"I've decided on Ryker." She said softly, and her daddy nodded at her, a bright gleam in his eyes as he rubbed a hand over her protruding stomach.

"Rachel! Jesse's here!" Rachel heard her other father say from the living room, she jumped up and flew down to find a dripping wet Jesse standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Jesse.. what happened?" She asked breathlessly as he gazed at her. He looked up at her, his eyes full of an emotion she could not explain.

"Some of the football team decided to "congratulate" me on knocking up the Berry freak. So they dumped five slushies on me." He said delicately a hatred plain in his voice, and Rachel felt her heart break as she watched him walk into her home, trying not to drip on the carpet.

"Come on, I'll help you clean up." She said softly, trying to not show the tears in her eyes as she walked out of the room, his hand in hers. _  
_

In her pink bathroom he looked very out of place, sitting on the edge of her tub as she rinsed his shirt in her sink. When she turned around she caught herself staring at his bare torso, and how beautiful he truly was.

"You... you're.." She was breathless though and couldn't finish the statement before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled himself to her breast, his head against her bosom.

"I love that sound. Your heartbeat, it lets me know you're here, and you're real." He said softly, letting his guard all the way down as she wrapped her arms around his sticky back and held him close.

"I love yours too, Jesse." She sighed against him, because things finally felt normal.


	3. may to july

**A/N: So, we've reached the end of this story. Before I continue, I'd like to address a few reviews.**

**Firstly, I like _constructive _criticism, not someone just saying they don't like my story because how I write my characters. I'm not Ryan Murphy, I don't know these characters like he does. I make my characters based on cannon but with their own personality. Thank you for reviewing, however, but there's nothing I can do. Also, just because Jesse didn't say he had forgiven her, doesn't mean he hadn't. This is mainly Rachel's point of view, and she can't read minds.**

**Secondly, I got several reviews pointing out that my Quinn pregnancy line is off, I know that. I made it that way for a reason, and that happens in this chapter. It was much easier to have her give birth after Rachel has dealt with all the major things. Thanks for pointing it out though, I needed to specify. **

**Finally, kudos to all of you have discovered the Wendla/Melchior parallels to Jesse/Rachel. I think that connection will become even stronger in this chapter. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and favorited, it's made everything so much better. I hope this is the ending that everyone hoped for. :)**

–

_**'sing me anything'**_

_**'**__And all shall know the wonder  
Of purple summer_

_And so I wait  
The swallow brings  
A song of what's to follow  
The glory of the spring' _-Spring Awakening

–

**May. **

Quinn gave birth in May. It happened right after Regionals, and the entire club, including Finn, went to be with her when she had her child. She hadn't been feeling good all day, and Rachel had noticed, being seven months pregnant she was well aware of the strains of being a mother-to-be. Quinn had darted off stage after the last move of the choreography and Mr. Schuester had caught her in his arms before she muttered her water had broken, all over Mr. Schue's new shoes.

Suddenly their teammate's health became much more important to the McKinley High glee club than winning, and so not one member had stayed for the awards show. Puck had crawled into the back of the ambulance while all the other schools looked on with gossip in their eyes. Rachel snarled at them as she passed, and she did not miss the look of shock that passed over every members of Vocal Adrenaline's face as they looked to her stomach and then her hand in their former leading man's.

Rachel didn't think it was that surprising that Vocal Adrenaline hadn't known that she was pregnant, as Jesse hadn't had communication with them for months. Shelby cocked an eye at her former star, and he looked away from her, pulling Rachel along behind him more quickly.

She had had a rough month in May. The prospect of Regionals had nearly driven every member of the club crazy, and with there being two pregnant girls tempers and hormones were running high. Quinn and Rachel were both unable to move as much as everyone else, but Mr. Schuester had done a rather remarkable job of making phenomenal choreography, which included a lot of lifting on Finn and Jesse's part, and a lot of spinning for Quinn and Rachel. Neither girl minded much, as Quinn was still very much in love with Finn, and Rachel loved the feeling of being in Jesse's arms.

Quinn wasn't as scared of giving birth as she had once been, because at that point she honestly wanted that baby the hell out of her. Rachel was beginning to experience those same feelings of restlessness now, and Jesse was the only one who was patient enough to deal with her. Kurt had promised to burn every single soundtrack she owned if she didn't "shut the hell up." Of course she was crying at that point about how _mean_ everyone could be, and Jesse had to buy her a chocolate sundae to calm her down.

Now she watched as her most unorthodox best friend was wheeled into the hospital, screaming and smacking every inch of Noah Puckerman she could lay a hand on. Everyone was freaking out. Kurt was pacing back and forth saying '_Ohmygawd, ohmygawd._' Mercedes and Tina just kept sitting down to only stand back up again. Artie was once again ramming his chair into the wall, while Miss Pillsbury was wringing her hands and offering sanitizer to everyone in the room every five seconds. Mike and Matt were just staring at each other, unable to comprehend what was going on around them. Finn was staring down the hall where Quinn had disappeared. Mr. Schuester was being least helpful of all, because the pain of the baby he would have had crashed down on him. Only Rachel and Jesse knew what to do. She was calming everyone down when a crazed looking Puck came sprinting out of the delivery room.

"She wants Finn and Rachel." He said quickly, and Jesse's eyes flashed to Finn, an untrusting look lining his face. Rachel touched his arm and he looked at her, and she was trying to convey he didn't need to worry anymore. Before she could speak, Puck was dragging her down the hall, and Jesse was looking just as hurt as he had back in November.

"She just keeps crying for you two, so I came to get you." He said quickly as they pushed open the door and donned the necessary clothes to go into the delivery room. Rachel felt Finn's hand squeeze hers and she looked up to see that dazzling crooked grin on his face, but she could not find it within herself to smile back at him.

"Quinn, baby, you're gonna have to push." Puck was saying, and then backed off when he saw the murderous glint in Quinn's eye.

"I am not your baby, I don't even like you!" She growled as Rachel came near to her, and Finn stepped behind Puck, looking like he didn't know what the hell to do.

"Quinn, you look amazing, you know? Fierce as always." Rachel said gently, approaching her best friend, who smiled to her. Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and looked into her eyes with a fierce determination that had not been seen for months.

"I know you're scared. I know it hurts. But we love you. Every single person from New Directions loves you and your baby, and we want to meet her. I'm here for you, just push." She said calmly, and she felt stronger with every breath she took. Quinn smiled back up at her.

"I'm sorry for how horrible I was to you." She said, then let out another groan as she pushed again, and after only a few more moments, a cry wrenched the air and Rachel felt Quinn grab her and fall in her arms.

"That was awesome, Quinn." Finn said from his position behind Puck, looking slightly nauseated at seeing his ex girlfriend giving birth. Quinn lifted her head to look at Finn, and Rachel watched with a pain in her heart for her best friend.

Rachel knew very little about love and too much about heartbreak, but she had never been more certain of love as she watch Quinn look at Finn. It felt like she deserve to be there in that moment, and looked away, wishing to whatever being there might be that Jesse would someday look at her like that. She would give anything to have someone love her that fiercely, as she loved him more than she would have ever believed possible.

"What's her name?" The nurse holding the small and beautiful baby girl asked.

"Drizzle Isabella Puckerman." Quinn said quietly, and Rachel didn't miss the meaning behind the name. Drizzle for Finn, Isabella for her choice, and Puckerman for Noah.

When Rachel left the room she felt incredibly drained of everything. Her life over the past seven months had drained her of everything. She felt like everything was speeding by and she was helpless to stop it from coming. Soon that would be her giving birth and the thought terrified her. What would she do after her son was born? Would she finally tell Jesse how she felt, and what she wanted? There were so many things left unsaid, and it broke her heart.

"Rachel?" She turned to see Finn standing next to her, and she felt a rush of sadness looking at him, and how differently their lives could have been if it weren't for babies and boyfriends.

"Yes, Finn?" She asked tiredly.

"Can you ask Mr. Schue to come back here, Quinn wants to talk to him. She wants you in there too." He said softly, and she nodded quickly.

She returned moments later with a very confused Will Schuester. Rachel pushed the door open, and was greeted to the sight of Quinn holding a tan baby in her arms, with a patch of dark hair. When the two reached her bed side, Rachel was overcome with emotion as the baby's bright blue eyes found hers. It was like looking at pure beauty for the first time.

"She is so beautiful, Quinn." Mr. Schuester said, looking at the blond with a grimace of pain. Rachel found herself wishing Jesse was there with her, and with a pang she realized she missed him. Missed him so much that it was suffocating her.

"We want you to have her." Quinn said, looking at her favorite adult. "You have always been there for me. You gave be a safe haven when no one else would. You made Puck and I feel like we weren't losers, and that means something to us." She watched his shocked face for a moment longer. "She would have been yours, after all." Quinn said, and by this point tears were spilling down her cheeks as Puck nodded next to her.

Rachel watched Mr. Schuester's face change from shock to one full of emotion. A tear slipped down his nose as he looked to the two terrified teens in front of him. "I..." He seemed to be choking on his words for a moment, "I would be honored to be her father." He said, smiling to Quinn who smiled and hugged her favorite teacher.

Rachel took this opportunity to slip out of the room, her heart full of emotion for the new baby and her teacher. If anything could have shown her how amazing being a mother was, it was the ability of Quinn to give her child up because of the life she couldn't give Drizzle.

She could see Jesse from where she stood, looking out the window, a pale ray of sunshine lining his angel-like face. She felt the sudden impact of the truth hit her. They were having a baby, and they would have that connection for life. For some selfish reason that thought comforted her, knowing that he would always be in her life was the best thing she had thought of all day.

"I missed you." She said gently, placing a hand on his warm cheek. He turned to look down at her, his face showing a sign of relief that she couldn't fully understand.

"Me too." He whispered be. "_The stars too, they tell of spring returning-- and summer with another wind that no one yet has known._" He said, stroking her soft cheek in his always warm hand, and she relaxed into his cheek.

"We won! We won! We beat Vocal Adrenaline! We're going to Nationals!" It was Tina's voice that severed their personal moment, and after her proclamation everyone in the room began jumping and laughing, and on Kurt's part, crying.

Rachel smiled at she watched all of her friends celebrate their victory and felt a hand slip in hers and she looked to Jesse, who smiled at her, squeezing her fingers. She spun into him, hugging him to her, feeling like this was the first day of sunshine after months of rain.

**June.**

June brought the heat that Rachel had craved so dearly during those winter months of frost and snow and ice. Every morning she woke up to sun shine and birds singing, which was her favorite way to wake up. It sure beat puking, at any rate. She was nearing eight months in her pregnancy, and it was sinking in that her son would be coming out of her in a month. She would be a mom in a month, and it was a beautiful thought.

School had ended and with that Jesse had graduated. Rachel had cried through the entire ceremony as she watched the boy she was so in love with cross the stage, his face shining with the first real spark of accomplishment in a long time. He had accepted his scholarship to OSU, so he could be close to Rachel and their baby, but Rachel dreaded the end of summer. She felt different now, she was a junior, an upperclassman, and a mother. It felt like too much most of the time.

Nationals would take place in August, and she was freaking out, knowing that being a mother would greatly hinder her ability to support her team. However, she couldn't deny she was excited to have her baby, after so many months of worrying and fretting and crying, it would be the defining moment of her life to have him in her arms.

Her dads had transformed the guest bedroom into a beautiful blue and yellow nursery for the baby boy. They seemed more excited to meet the baby than she was most of the time, and had started forcing her to play Mozart whenever they were all cooking or cleaning. She was tired all the time, and looked a bit like a beached whale. She felt very unattractive most of the time, and rarely wanted to go anywhere other than her room.

Jesse was with her most of the time, always ready and willing to help her in whatever way she needed. He didn't mind that they were spending all their time in her bedroom, singing and watching pretty much every musical that had ever been made.

Baby Drizzle had finally settled in nicely at Mr. Schuester's, who being completely clueless when it came to babies, enlisted the help of Miss Pillsbury to help him take care of the small baby girl. He even had Quinn over a lot, insisting that there was no reason for the girl not to know her mother. It was the sweetest thing Rachel had ever seen.

She was crying again, like she did most of the time, as she looked at her image in the mirror that covered most of her bathroom door. She had outgrown another pair of pants, and it was depressing reality that she had once only weighed a hundred and ten pounds. Her reflection was like a car crash, she really couldn't look away from it.

"Rachel? What's wrong?" It was Jesse's voice that floated to her from the doorway to her room. She looked over to him her eyes watering with sadness.

"I look like a human balloon!" She wailed at him, and he looked at her with a curious gaze that only pissed her off even further. "I know you think it! Every one does! I'm hideous!" She said, louder this time, and he approached her.

"Rachel, I know that it's kind of a hard time for you, but you need to calm down." He said gently, but firmly. "Of course you don't understand!" She said, crying again, and he stepped towards her again, his eyes flashing with something she couldn't name.

"You aren't alone, Rachel! I'm sorry that I got you pregnant, I know that it sucks. I know that I'm not the one carrying the baby, but he's my baby too, and I've shared this burden with you for as long as I've known. I do everything you ask me too, and I know I'm not the greatest guy at times, but I care about you. I'm just freaking out because this is the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. I didn't even want kids before, but now I'm having one, and everything is coming at me so quickly, I don't know what to do." He said, his voice wasn't raised, but she could sense the desperation that his voice held as he looked at her. She felt ashamed, as she had never once paused to think about how much Jesse was doing for her.

"When you told me you were pregnant," He sighed, "I wasn't ashamed or angry or even all that hurt. I was confused. It was like a crazy dream, and I couldn't believe it was actually happening to me. Then I started seeing all of these scenes. You and I holding him, or singing him to sleep, and I finally knew that I could handle this-- as long as you could." He said softly, taking her face in his hands and brushing away the tears from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, I didn't stop to think about what you're going through." She said softly to him, and he smiled a little.

"Don't worry about it. I know that this is hard for you, I just don't want you to forget I'm here for you and him." He said gently. "Any luck with baby names?" He asked.

Rachel had said she would take any name that he had in consideration, but he had simply said that whatever she picked would be perfect. He knew that Rachel wouldn't pick any name that she didn't think was absolutely perfect. She was having trouble with a middle name, but she was confident she would know when she saw the baby.

"I'm sure it will come to me." She said, and he smiled and nodded in agreement. Jesse was still holding her face, and she moved away reluctantly.

"I need to finish packing my winter clothes." She said quietly, not being able to bear to desire for him she felt. The love that pulsated from her whenever he was near, that he still did not seem to reciprocate for her.

"Okay, I'll call you later." He said turning to leave the room, and she felt the ever present tears fill her eyes, and she couldn't blame these tears only on her pregnancy.

"Oh, and Rachel?" She looked up at the sound of his voice and saw him smiling a soft smile at her, kindness filling his perfect blue eyes, and for a moment she could only hope her baby would have the exact shade of his eyes.

"You are incredibly beautiful." He said simply and turned to leave a stunned Rachel in her room, before she began to sing.

"_They say you go blind, maybe it's true. We've all got our junk, and my junk is you. It's like we stop time. What can I do? We've all got our junk, and my junk is you._" She sang loudly enough to where he could hear her from the hallway and she did not miss him singing, "_My junk is you, you, you._" Back to her.

**July.**

It was July again, and it with came warm summer nights and grilled hotdogs in her backyard. In fact, for the Fourth of July celebration Mr. Schuester had arranged a get together in the local park for all of the glee clubbers. It was a night filled with laughter and tears and more singing than was normal for anyone but the glee club. Quinn had held Drizzle all night, as a starry eyed Ms. Pillsbury spun in Mr. Schue's arms.

Artie and Tina had set next to the river's edge as thunder rumbled from the unhappy grey sky. Kurt and Mercedes were busy singing, and Santana was perched on Puck's exposed lap. Finn was sitting next to Quinn, making cooing noises and silly faces at the baby that the entire club seemed to have adopted. Mike, Matt and Brittany seemed to be very amused with the sparklers Rachel had bought for them all.

Rachel observed the scene fondly, a warmth filling her heart as she watched her favorite people in the entire world smiling in the realm of happiness. She rubbed her now enormous baby bump and almost giggled at how small it once had been. Jesse was sitting behind her, arms wrapped around her, and it was almost like everything was back to normalcy. Then the perfect moment was ruined by a rush of wetness between her legs.

"Oh my god, my water just broke!" She exclaimed, beginning to freak out. Her contractions were two weeks early, and the pain in her abdomen told her that her baby did not want to remain inside of her any longer.

Jesse leapt to his feet, and pulled her up, carrying her effortless, while the rest of the club scrambled in a frenzied panic to get Rachel safely into Jesse's car. Luckily, she was a very planned out and organized person and had forced every member of glee to carry a baby bag in their cars in case of this type of occurrence. Jesse pulled the pink bag out of the trunk and placed it in the backseat. Mr. Schue was calling her dads and she was trying to focus on breathing as the contractions were nearing five minutes apart.

The ride to the hospital was a blur of red lights, car horns and a lot of speed. She could hear Jesse telling her that it would be okay, but it was hard to focus through the pain of her child trying to entire the world by shear force.

The reached the hospital, and she was instantly wheeled away, Jesse was following her, and the doctor's her running her vitals and placing her on a bed. Dr. Wu had entered the room and she became distinctly aware that this was it. She was having her baby after nine long months of carrying the child within her body, she was finally going to meet him. That thought terrified her.

"I'm scared." She whispered to Jesse, a pleading in her eyes. He looked at her and took her hand in his. "_Listening for the hope, for the new life. Something beautiful, a new chance. Hear its whispering there again._" His words seemed to empower and strengthen her, and she reached up to touch his face as another contraction hit and she moaned. "God it hurts so much." She said, closing her eyes, trying not to cry.

"Rachel Berry," she looked up into his eyes, hers wide, "You can do this. I know you can. You are brave and strong and amazing and that's why I love you so much." He said gently, kissing her sweaty forehead.

It was like a dam inside of her had just broken. He loved her, he truly loved her, and he had finally told her. It was as if a light was burning bright inside of her, and as she looked in his eyes she felt a new sense of being irrupt inside of her, and she was the determined Rachel Berry from before, and she wasn't afraid of giving birth.

"Rachel, I need to you to push, I can see the crown." Dr. Wu was saying patiently, and she pushed. She pushed past the pain and the fear and she continued to push for what seemed like forever before one short cry pierced the air.

It was the most magical sound she had ever heard, much more amazing than any musical or note she had ever heard. It was a feeling that she couldn't really identify and settled on calling it 'parenthood.' She watched, bleary eyed as Jesse cut the baby's cord and held him, admiring the first look at his new born baby son.

"I did not just give birth for you to see him first!" Rachel teased, and Jesse leaned over to show her the bloody and mucus covered baby boy in his arms. He was tiny, and the most beautiful thing Rachel had ever seen. She felt her eyes well with tears as she kissed his forehead gently.

The nurses took him to clean him and dress him, while Rachel was left with the paper work aspect of it. A nurse read the baby's chart to her, a smile on her tan face.

"Eighteen inches, six pounds, seven ounces. Hair color is brown, and when he opens his eyes we'll record the eye color." Rachel nodded tiredly, and was soon handed the life she had just brought into the world.

"What do you want to name him?" The nurse asked, and Rachel leaned down to inspect her baby. He had curly dark hair, and now that his eyes were open she could see the same blue shade of Jesse's. Her wish had come true. That's when the middle name finally seemed blatantly obvious to her, and she smiled.

"Ryker Melchior St. James." She said simply, and she knew from Jesse's bright smile that he thought the middle name was perfect. Spring Awakening had helped her through the entire pregnancy, so it seemed fitting that the play be honored in some way.

"That's perfect." Jesse said gently, kissing the beautiful boy and his mother once more. Rachel knew her dads and the rest of the glee club would want to come in and see Ryker, but for that moment she just wanted to relax in Jesse's arms with her son.

"I love you." She whispered to both the boys.

"I love you too." He said back.


	4. august epilogue

**A/N: I couldn't resist an epilogue, just to let you know where everyone was at. It's short, but I felt it was needed. Thank you all for sticking with this story, it's been so much fun :)**

–

_**'sing me anything'**_

_epilogue_

–

**August.**

After Ryker was born, everyone fell in love with him, very much as they had with Drizzle. Both the babies had strange names, and Kurt was already designing a baby clothing line, while Mercedes and Tina had decided that the two infants would grow up to fall in love with each other someday. Rachel was fairly certain her son would grow to be a heartbreaker, because he was already stunningly good looking, which was easy to understand. Neither she nor Jesse were unattractive.

Nationals was kind of a blur to everyone. It took place in New York City, and Rachel had brought Ryker and he was held by her fathers as she sang her heart out on stage, and the entire club had never preformed so well. It was a blow when they only got second place, but the sight of the two babies in the audience caused everyone to forget their loss and celebrate the fact that they had ever even made it that far.

"Hey, beautiful." It was Jesse, he was leaning on the nursery door as she held Ryker in her arms, kissing his forehead she lay him in his warm and comforting crib.

Ryker was a good baby, he never cried, except for when Puck tried to hold him, but no one could blame him for that. He giggled and smiled a lot, and he loved Rachel. He always wanted to be held, and most importantly, he always wanted to be sung to, which never was a problem for either of his parents.

"Hi there." She whispered, smiling at her boyfriend.

"I thought I'd come sing him goodnight. Wanna listen?" He asked gently. She nodded, her heart filled with a happiness that was almost painful.

"_Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true._" He sang softly to his slumbering son. He turned to Rachel, his eyes bright and she stroked his cheek.

"You are so amazing." She said to him, and he grinned at her, shaking his hand. "I wouldn't be half as amazing without you." He leaned down to kiss her, and smiled against his lips.

"Love you." He whispered in her ear. "Love you too." She said back, gently, and turned the light off with one last look to her son, feeling as if this was the happily ever after she was always meant for, and prepared to love every single minute of it.


End file.
